Call The Office part 2

Well here's another part of the "Call The Office" series. That club was dick heaven for sure. But anyways, I'm not gonna type to much about each individual picture. Ill just let you use your imagination and make up your own funny descriptions. Now introducing the beef.

"Now that's a dick"...no other sentence could describe this any better.

Pretty self explanatory i must say. Its "SubmaPenis"

This is a repeat offender..."Dickasaurus Rex", my friend Amanda submitted one like this months ago. But it was drawn on a bathroom wall last time. Its now showing up on a couch arm. He had a friend drawn by him named "Tri-ceracocks". You will be blessed with that piece on a later post.

Artist: Unknown

Location: London, Ontario @ Call the office

Call The Office part 1

Its been a long fucking time since i last updated this! I had almost forgot i even had this blog anymore. So pretty much I've been busy with the whole tour business and haven't been finding any new cock art at clubs/bars/bathrooms, Until about 3 days ago in London, Ontario aka Canada. It was all at this venue called "Call The Office". I have so many photos, i cant add them all at once. So I'm gonna do the this in series of post. Here is the first batch, the first picture pretty much explains the venue...

A swastika in cock form with 4 dudes sucking on it. That's all i got to say about this picture. I don't really wanna ruin it with some stupid ass joke. So just suck it in for all its beauty and enjoy!

A poorly drawn cock man with a great side titty coming from the left.  I, myself wanted to add some cum/semen/jizz/man sauce squirting from the tip and landing on that firm tittay. But i didn't wanna ruin both pieces with my additions, cause i know if some asshole added to my art...id be pissed.

This was placed perfectly above the toilet about head height and i was pretty offended. It made me actually look down at my dick to make sure it wasn't that small and puny. I was pleasantly surprised that i wasn't that petite, but not far from it. 

First off, This picture is being cut off by a mirror now. I'm assuming at one point in life it was not covered and ruined. I mean seriously a fucking schlong cumming bacon and a omelet! Once again only in my dreams could i be gifted with such a super power. The ability to jizz up my breakfast. Imagine waking up with morning wood and tossing up a J O session and shooting out bacon and a omelet onto a plate. Only problem is the pain of cumming those tasty treats. Hopefully the super power would include painless ejaculation or else it would be the most painful thing ever, but after the pain you'd have a amazing breakfast.

Zipper Rippers

First and foremost, Id like you to go check out my good friend Martin Stewart's blog called Gutter Magic. We just did a blog Collab for both our blogs. so go check it out! Now on with the cock art! What we have here is either a ancient sea beast/dinosaur or a look into the future of evolution. Either way it scares the fuck out of me. Imagine a ocean full of these prick predators, i myself would not like that at all. That is truly what nightmares are made of. This was submitted by a Nicholas Bua. Thank you very much sir.

Wow, this is a very racial and controversial piece of art here OR is it just the TRUTH. A definite long running myth though. How convenient that it was submitted by a azn.

This is what would i totally expect from some European late night TV show. I'm assuming his name would be "Mr. Pennis The Menace".  He kinda reminds of a sick, twisted and perverted version of that WB frog that sings and dances. Best part of the drawing/picture is that hes wearing roller blades aka fruit boots and if you look closely they're definitely Nike blades. So That means Pennis here is fashionable up to date. I'm also a fan of his red tie and monocle, its like hes formal but hes also here party.

Artist: Unknown

Location: New York, Portland and Europe

So here's another installment of "if you cant draw a crowd..." Ive been slacking super hard on doing a new update. I still have a broken computer and I'm currently on the vans warped tour, where their is absolutely not any dick art of any kind anywhere. I find myself going from porta potty to porta potty in hopes of a sweet cock drawing, but all i find is a shot sense of smell from the backed up johns from little rocker/emo kids dumping all day. But anyways, i can always rely on my friends and b-roll has once again delivered some great european cocks. If you ever wondered what a "droopy dick" was, well then here it is. All that can be said is im sure that no man would ever want a dick like this. it kinda likes a balloon thing that a clown would make.

Its apparent what we have here, a wiener version of south parks Terrence and/or Phillip. Maybe the creators of south park Trey Park or Matt Stone actually drew up this while on some homo-erotic vacation over seas? Who knows the true origin of this beautiful cartoon fuck stick, but all i know is its fucking great.

Location: Somewhere In Europe

Artist: Unknown

Weird!

I've never owned a car in my 27 years of life. But if I was to finally get a automobile?...it would definitely be "the cockcart". I mean, look at this beautiful vehicle. I bet it gets great gas mileage. I like to imagine myself as that little guy in the driver seat tearing ass up the 5 north to go party with friends. The only downside is that it's definitely a 1 seater. But I'm a genius and came up with a great idea: get some saddles and throw those things on neck/shaft of my cock cart and...BOO-YA!!! I can now drive my friends to party with me. But the real question is: Is the front hood/animal/cock head alive? Or is it just there for show? I guess we will never know since a car like this can only exist in my wildest dreams.


Something like this will for sure exist in the future. It wont be long 'til some crazy mad scientist will splice penis DNA with frog DNA and then this homo erotic amphibian will exist. Then I think the idea of licking toads to get high will drastically change in young white trash kids minds. I myself hope I never encounter such a creature as this. Venomous cum and a weird long sticky tongue coming from the pee hole to catch its bug prey. NOT COOL AT ALL!

Location: Portland, OR
Artist: Unknown
Submitted By: Azn Kristin

Ladies Lollipop.

I'm honestly speechless on this one. So much going on that my mind is drawing a blank on what to write. I think everyone just needs to stare at this and come up with their own funny comments. I mean there are like 20 pricks drawn on this table and there is even a little twat with a brown eye drawn up also. I'm sorry that I have nothing funny to say about this table of pork sticks and a pussy, it's just blown my mind to the point where I can't even think. But don't worry, I got a huge update coming this week and I will deliver! This was submitted by changexofxidea from the B9 board. Click the picture to see the full detail and glory of this true to form masterpiece.

Location: Fresno, Ca @ The Exit
Artist: Unknown

Peckers To The Feed The Peckers

Here we have a dipstick that apparently can walk and maybe even talk. What a world that would be if our man parts could detach themselves and proceed walk around freely and carelessly. Imagine that you're sleeping soundly in bed when the sudden urge to pee overwhelms you only to awake you to the sight of your dick walking to bathroom on it's own and pissing for you. All while you're in bed half asleep and comfortable as fuck. But unfortunately we don't live in a paradise like that. :( So this was drawn on this band Trash Talk's van. Check 'em out. One of the hardest working bands in hardcore right now. But anyways, I don't know if they drew it themselves (which would be acceptable) or if it was one of their wyld homo fans that didn't like their set 'cause they didn't play that sick jam that he/she had been listening to in their bedroom and moshing in the mirror to. Either way it's fucking awesome and I thoroughly appreciate Mr. Joe Harder for submitting this to me. Check out his band Pressure.


So pretty much what we have here is a secret cum machine. I'm assuming there's a guy hiding behind the wall and that he's just using this plastic hand washer front as a clever decoy. So what I imagine would happen is you go up after a piss, shit or just hard work that got your hands a little dirty and you just start pumping on the little flap/handle. Now when you do that it obviously triggers some sort of hand / pocket pussy / mouth / other miscellaneous pleasure utensils. This is where the term "2 pump chump" comes into mind and this drawing may very well be inspiration for the term. So 2 little pumps on this contraption and what you think is mass produced hand washing soap dispenses buuuuut......NOPE! You just got served up a massive load of a random dudes cum in your hands. And before you realize the fuckery that has just taken place you've covered your hands and possibly your face with some assholes semen. What a fucked up world we live in....

Location: Picture 1: Trash Talk's Van; Picture 2: Brussels,BK @ VK Club
Artist: Picture 1: Unknown; Picture 2: Big Willy